| Clayton Bailey Press 771445445655644 | |||
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SEE BIGFOOT PROOF! |
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| In 1971, inspired
by "Bigfoot" stories in the Weekly World News, Clayton Bailey
and Dr. Gladstone decided to look for indisputable proof of the existence
of Bigfoot.Together, they unearthed this Kaolithic Skeleton of a Bigfoot,
and the Bigfoot Dropping; in their backyard in California. Seasonal mudslides
on the nearby hillside exposed the bones. This was very handy, and it eliminated
the need to dig, and travel expenses too.
According to press releases issued by Dr. Gladstone, the skeleton represents a race of giant man-like creatures that possess nature's perfect birth control device, the Triple Jointed Penis. Gladstone explains," Human males have a single penile bone; whereas Bigfoot has a triple-jointed bone that can make a "U" turn, and deposit its sperm outside the female." This handy and efficient form of birth control explains the rarity of Bigfoot today. The triple jointed penis also suggests that Bigfoot was able to engage in athletic mating practices without damaging the bone, and this inspired the creature's scientific name, "Giganticus Erectus Robustus ". Analysis of the bones reveals that they are made of thermally metamorphised mud; much like the clay that Bailey uses in his studio. |
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FINDING THE BIGFOOT DROPPING: |
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| This exhibit explains Dr. Gladstone's
approved method of Finding the Bigfoot Dropping, and shows the tools and
techniques he has devised especially for this purpose. The exhibit explains:
1- A generous amount of lubricant is squirted into the suspected dropping site (a patch of fur) with the Lubricant Injector . 2- When the dropping emerges, it is grasped with the Dropping Extractor Tongs, and carefully withdrawn. Another sign warns: "Try not to disturb the Bigfoot".
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"FINDING THE BIGFOOT DROPPING" - 1974 ceramic, on painted wood, fur, grease 24" X 36" X 12"
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COMPARATIVE ANATOMY |
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The Triple-Jointed Bigfoot Penis
is nature's perfect birth control device.
Human males have a single penile bone; whereas Bigfoot has a triple-jointed bone that can make a "U" turn, and deposit its sperm outside the female. This handy and efficient form of birth control explains the rarity of Bigfoot today. The triple jointed penis also suggests that Bigfoot was able to engage in athletic mating practices without damaging the bone, and this inspired the creature's scientific name, "Giganticus Erectus Robustus ". Peter Byrne, the former Director of the International Wildlife Conservation Society in Washington, D.C., commends Gladstone in 1975, saying; "Keep up with the good work. The world needs more people like you, and we are behind you 100%."
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